Sunday, December 11, 2011
hi this week i'm feeling good.... particularly because i feel quite motivated to do something for myself. hope my biz will take flight soon :)
anyway here's the deal. i'm so used to three or four-days work week i think i'm going to die next week and the week after. then again.... two more weeks to block leave so i'm looking forward to that!
recently i picked up my gameboy and started to play. realised that i haven't finished the game after all. met groudon but i'm not sure how to get kyogre and whatever that follows is still unknown. i like the suspense. i'm just like that. maybe it's because there's still hope in me that i can still carry on. i don't like anything to end i guess.
by the way i tio guard duty on CNY. i'm a Chinese. FML?
3:26 PM
Saturday, November 26, 2011
three months without blogging! can't believe it.... even though nobody reads this anymore i still like to update this little concealed diary of mine.
i think it's because everybody likes to talk about themselves. it's intoxicating, really, some ppl can go on and on and on about themselves without realising that others aound them are bored of hearing it. anyway that's not the point. i just hope i can keep the faith and continue writing, even if it's just about everyday life.
simple little things make me feel good. yes i'm materialistic i don't deny i go for expensive stuff but there's another side of me yearning for just a little bit of sunshine when i wake up, peach tea for breakfast, sitting on the swing feeling the breeze, lying down on a grass patch with my loved ones to watch the stars. like just chill everyday
sigh. simple but unrealistic....
8:58 PM
Sunday, August 28, 2011
this week as usual i've done some thinking. not entirely about me.... more like about life. it's not easy. it's like, how do i even put it in words?
some things happen in a particular dimension and time. like a person. i look into the mirror and don't understand why i'm here. is that me? why is that me? which space am i occupying in this vast vortex of vacuum? i don't know me. not at all. do i have a past, a past which is forbiddden to discover unless i possess out-of-the-world psychic powers?
interesting really. i spaced out for a while in front of the mirror thinking about all these. then, how is it that certain things happen? do they just happen? i remember i was dreaming during some theory lesson then i heard people talking to each other, some marching around, the wind making its way into the place, ants creating a trail. how do all these things collide and happen so naturally? as if they were told to be there. a whisper maybe. that day i was telling my friend about my sixth sense. i predicted our outcamp run would be cancelled and it really did, so why was i right about that? how is it that my feeling coincided with what was going to happen, which i totally had no idea of? i don't even know if i just blabbered or what. come to think of it i don't even recognise that feeling anymore, like some scent which rubs off over time. so do things happen and then we forget? such that we no longer have any sense of belonging to our past, a guilt-ridden one, a carefree one. could that be why we never can understand why things happen, that we're not even good enough to understand why things happened.
and i'm done hating, dislike, abhoring, whatever. i think i'm tired. if you think you can even quit hating, you're too naive. you can't. but for now i'll let go. relax for a bit, then go for a thing to think about, a topic probably not as wide as this which i can't seem to quite comprehend.
10:59 PM
Saturday, August 20, 2011
ok i realise i can't leave blogging 'cos i'm just someone who can't think about things without articulating it out. strange isn't it, it's like speaking to make sure i keep thinking....
so this week was quite slack. we had live firing for SAW which wasn't as loud as what jack told me. just that IA drills came in really handy, too many stoppages. anyway this is not the main point. somehow or rather someone made me very disappointed with him. and i mean very. time and again he'd do things which ppl can't see but it's so obvious to me that he's such a jerk i can't stand it anymore.
i am very angry, and even more so, indignant. he thinks that he's someone with principles but in actual fact he's just being defiant. like some overgrown kid. like for every single thing his opinions must be right. he insists on his thoughtless ways even though it's really wrong. i don't know who or what fed his pride but for now, i'll be evil and watch him fall. watch him fall into a bottomless pit and.... i don't know. i refuse to give a damn.
i told my mommy i saw myself in him. fuck that!
6:46 PM
Saturday, August 13, 2011
I'm so not a faithful blogger. Didn't even come up to wish myself happy birthday. I think there isn't much to blog about lately that's why.... Is this sort of like some prophecy telling me that my life is in need of some drama or action?? Or more of it.
38 SCE is treating me well. Not much problem and not much fun either.... I'm not complaining! Not at all. At least we get to book out on every fri night and book in on sun night. And the food's good. No joke.
Still.... What's next? I hope my life won't get so boring that I need to rely on Facebook to record down every little detail of it
9:08 AM
Sunday, July 10, 2011
HAI PIPO I'M BAK (This takes a post to show how important my comeback is)
1:13 AM
If you even read this at all, I'm back. I'm BACK. From a place where I've dreaded so much but come to miss. It's always like that, too bad for being young. Now I carry a soldier's appearance, grass-like hair, a shag face and all the injuries not listed for convenience to read :)
In case you still don't understand, I just completed BMT. Call me PTE LEE now! Field camp, SITEST, route marches, BTP, IPPT, IOC.... Been through a hell lot. And so much tougher than before, be it my skin, my fists or my mental strength. Like any other boys I'm not stingy to share my experience on Tekong. Just call or text. Kidding.
I've learnt a great deal over the past nine weeks.... Ups and downs, judgements passed, different perspectives, personality check (but didn't really work out for some people) It's really fun, there's no need to be scared for those who need assurance. You won't die of excessive second-hand smoke or vulgarities. Eh ok that one I'm not sure.
So now I'm an armoured engineer pioneer. Honestly I don't know what's ahead but I can tell you I'm going to make the most out of it. It's going to be fun right? Right.
If I tell you I'm a bit disappointed I didn't get into command school, what kind of judgement will you pass on me? Will you see me in a different light? That I will never know. Best if I don't.
Anyway yea I was a bit sad but after a while everything just fell into place and my mind returned to the original calm state. Maybe I'm someone who can take things more easily than others. Like a cushion filled with better quality cotton. Absorb impact better what, haha.
This journey wouldn't have been possible without many. Can't expect me to list and write notes for all of them but I'm pretty sure they know who they are. Love y'all to bits and pieces like cookie crumbles. Goodnight!
1:12 AM
Monday, May 02, 2011
you know i've always wondered why some people like to make others' lives miserable. there should be a correlation between that behaviour and the type of life they are living. in mathematical terms, let x be the amount of misery in their own lives and let y be the misery those people have brought to others' lives and we will most likely discover a strong positive linear relationship 0.8 < r < 1. this isn't too good an anology for people who are not math fans but you get the drift. if curiosity kills the cat then i think desire drowns a whale (and if you don't know that whales are mammals so yes they can drown don't bother to read on coz you won't understand anyway) i'm dying to know what kind of traumatism or excruciating pain their fragile minds have been put through to give them reasons to inflict more damages, which they would have otherwise rejected, onto others. do we tend to give the things we don't want away to others? selfish or self-protective?
7:09 PM
